‘Y’ Batman Wins Over 50 Shades

Why?

“BECAUSE I’M BATMAN!”

Ok yes, but…

“NO THAT’S THE ANSWER!”

Well if you’ll just…

“THAT’S ALL THAT NEEDS TO BE SAID”

Why are you screaming at me in all caps?

“BECAUSE IT  IMPORTANT….AND….I’M BATMAN!”

*throws Lego Batman in the drawer*

That’s better. Now where was I?

Yes, Batman wins because he’s Batman. However, its essential we point out why it won the box office over ’50 Shades Darker’. Sure we could go with what everyone else is saying; 50 Shades is boring, there’s no chemistry, the writing is bad, the story is bad…Batman is better. The end.

However there’s something else that needs to be said. 50 Shades Darker has become an  outdated standard for what used to be an edgy, dark and exotic on screen relationship. The female dream of being swept away by a rich, hot, business tycoon has slowly been replaced by the new Beyoncé driven era of “Who Run the World? GIRLS!” Females are being counseled and encouraged to create their own dynasty and find a man that isn’t intimidated about that and more importantly, turned on by it.  I suspect that if they had gender swapped 50 Shades to begin with tickets may have skyrocketed. Just saying.

The characters themselves are out of fashion. Christian Grey is a controlling baby with too much money. Anastasia Steele is….just dumb. Who lets one guy dictate what she can and cannot do? Ok some females still do. Yet, most will admit it’s creepy when he buys the company she works for because he just can, shows up unannounced on family visits because he feels like it AND has access to her banking account. WTF?! Seriously dude, how do you have her bank account info? #snowden The guy has no respect for boundaries, no respect for her opinion and couldn’t care less if she likes it or not. WTF? I know he’s a Dom but that’s just too much. The fact she even allows it AND gets turned on….just no. Strong male, weak female. That’s sooo 1800’s.

Now a guy that dresses up as a Bat to fight crime as a substitute to deal with emotional issues from his past? That’s relatable. No really it is. Batman, sure, would probably save a lot of money if he just went to therapy instead but the fact he’s taking his tragedy and turning it into a solution speaks volumes. Anyone he stalks is out to hurt or kill someone else. Any private information he takes was stolen in the first place. Any relationship he gets into is… well his inability to be in one or his stubbornness to stay out of one is actually his only Achilles heel (depending which canon we’re talking about). Lego Batman deals with that.

“NO, DON’T TALK ABOUT THAT!”

How did you?

“STOP TYPING!”

We’re talking about it

“NO”

Bruce…

“NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO”

*Slams book on top of him*

Here’s where Batman might strike the most consequential chord with the audience. Batman is in pain. Batman has been in pain since he was 10 and he’s still dealing with it. Lego Batman focuses on Bruce’s isolation and his choice behind it. It just seems easier to be alone and perhaps better to Bruce. No one to love = no one to lose  Past Batman on screen incarnations of course have dealt with Bruce’s emo nature before, Michael Caine’s Alfred walked out on Christian Bale’s Bruce when he couldn’t bare to watch Bruce destroy himself. Tim Burton’s/Joel Schumacher Batman touched on his struggle to open up to romantic involvement as well. Batman the animated series/Justice League dealt with that and his hesitancy to be a team player.  So while Batman’s constant battle with his past on Crime Alley may be nothing new, it still is relevant. Everyone can relate to loneliness and the struggle to overcome it. We all wish to turn our misfortunes into an assets which is why we root for the billionaire orphan boy, Bruce Wayne. We root for him to overcome his demons. We cheer for him when he outsmarts the gods. He’s brave, he’s vulnerable, he’s flawed, he’s human, he’s

“BATMAN!”

Yes you’re Batman and we have chose you.  You’ll get my money 50 shades when you…actually no…you won’t get my money. Point to Lego Batman.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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