Y No More Cheezit’s


“We don’t carry them anymore.”

“You don’t carry them anymore?”

The CIBO Express employee nods his head. “Yes we stop carrying Cheezits and Goldfish. We have these organic chedder crackers that are similar?”

It’s been a long tradition of mine when I fly to drink chai and buy outrageously overpriced Cheezits and this man is trying to give me Organic cheddar crackers?! I’m so confused.

“So, you don’t carry Cheezits but you’ll carry Miky ways, snickers and Hairbo gummy bears next to the yogurt, annie’s crackers and Kale chips?”

“Maim, I don’t determine what types of snacks we sell, I just work here.”

“Yes, but surely management is informed on reasoning behind carrying one product over the other. Where they recalled? Did you find something in them? Are they too expensive? Was it a conflict of interest kind of thing? Like Pepsi vs coke?”

“Would you like anything else besides your chai?”

Clearly I’m annoying but it was just odd that for years at New York airports I could buy a big ole bag of cheezits and now I can’t. So sue me if I just wanted to inquire why I’m being deprived. It’s my right as an obnoxious millennial, you know.

And it’s not like I was asking for something uncommon, the freaking Kale jalapeno chips isn’t something you find at your local CVS. Or even rice chips. Work with me Newark airport, I’m not asking for turkey bacon. Just give me good ole fashion processed cheezits full with hormones and GMO’s.

“We are trying to offer more organic snacks. These cheddar crackers are better for you.”

“Really, what’s your argument for M&M’s?”

“That’ll be 5.35 for the chai maim, have a good day.” 

“Fuck you too, sir.”

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